Are the beliefs you have about your identity true?

I’m not a psychologist, nor do I hold a degree in mental health, but I do walk with the Holy Spirit. While I’m not here to present this as professional advice, I want to share a pattern I’ve noticed, one that might resonate with some of you. What I say, I say with love and obedience.

It seems that many of us lack love these days. True love has become rarer than stumbling upon money in the street. Why? Because our culture has normalized things that are untrue or unhealthy, fostering a world where many are self-centered, caring only about what they can gain from others. As a result, we find ourselves surrounded by wounded souls—people hiding their pain beneath layers of pride and ego, searching for an identity, even if it’s false, to give them a sense of belonging.

Where love is absent, anything can take root.

Many who have been hurt in relationships—whether with men or women—end up believing lies about themselves, lies planted by the enemy. Remember, the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He doesn’t build anything. His lies, especially those close to our pain, can feel so intertwined with our truth that it’s easy to mistake them for reality. But let’s be clear: pain creates space for lies. Do not allow those lies to define you.

A lack of love from those who should have loved you doesn’t rewrite the identity God gave you. It only creates a false identity, a false sense of belonging, and a counterfeit form of love.

For instance, if you’re a woman who has never had true, supportive friends, and suddenly meet someone who genuinely cares, it’s easy to confuse that with romantic love. But that’s not always the case. You might simply be experiencing the kind of friendship and love you were always meant to have, but lacked. Similarly, if you’ve never had a partner who truly cherished you, your brain might misinterpret healthy interactions as something more significant than they are. This happens because your mind has grown used to poor or unhealthy relationships, and anything good feels unfamiliar.

It’s essential to understand that just because love was absent when you needed it most doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of it now. The enemy works through thoughts and people, manipulating our understanding of ourselves. Don’t let anyone else define who you are. Don’t allow your thoughts to overtake the identity God has called you to walk in.

You are not imperfect, and yes, God still loves you just as you are. When He looks at you, He sees a broken child in a cruel world—but one who is deeply loved. And remember, love comes in many forms. Not all love is romantic, and love is never lustful. Love can be the simple, everyday things that often go unnoticed:

• Love is your mother making your favorite dish.
• Love is your father sacrificing all he has just to see you smile.
• Love is a friend hugging you when you need it most.
• Love is a sibling loving you despite your faults.
• Love is a stranger offering a compliment or a kind word.

Love is being forgiven. Love is forgiving others. It’s the light that flickers even in the darkest moments. Love is being yourself around those you feel safe with. It’s accepting yourself for who God created you to be. It’s seeing the beauty and good in life when everything else feels overwhelming.

If the enemy has tried to rob you of love, don’t let him fool you into changing your God-given identity. If you feel lost, know that it’s not too late. Hold on to your faith, because love, in all its forms, is already around you, waiting to be discovered.

I love you, but Jesus loves you more.